Muscles and Muffin Tops

We’ve been hitting the gym like maniacs! Except for today, that is. We went to see Star Wars last night, and aside from not getting home until 1:30am we also had to wait in like 20 degree weather so I couldn’t stop shivering through most the movie and kind of gravely voice today. So figured it would probably be best to just let the bodies rest and recoup. However, I feel like I am really seeing changes in the mirror now! It’s so weird since my measurements aren’t changing, nor is the scale, but man, you should feel my biceps!  I mean, my arms haven’t started toning yet (except for a faint hollow spot developing on the inside!), but the muscle underneath is really starting to grow. I will randomly just flex and feel it through the day because it makes me so happy.

A friend commented that it seems like I have a lot more energy, and that may be true since I now have to take magnesium before bed to get a full night’s rest. If I don’t, I’m tossing and turning and pushing hubby to the brink of falling off, but once those magnesiums pills hit, I’m out until the alarm. Aside from that, I started googling how to see results faster (because you probably know how impatient I am by this point), and a good tip was to grab a pair of tight pants and try them on randomly because you’ll see a much more obvious change than any scale or measurement.

So being me, I grab the smallest pants I own (being a pair of jean shorts I picked up second hand without trying on because they said “L” on the tag and were like $3) and they made it to about my thighs and no further. Realizing that was probably not going to see any major results in the near future, I went to my second smallest pair of shorts (being a pair of blue lacey shorts I bought on Thread Up). This pair actually went on, but were approximately a mile from zipping upon the side, so I figured that would probably also be a hard way to judge and put them back in the “box for future use-one day…hopefully”. I ended up choosing a pair of blue jean shorts that I put on every summer, but that give me a terrible muffin top, though I still opt for them because they are really the only comfortable pair of shorts I’ve ever owned, muffins and their tops aside.

Now, when I’m feeling like a need a boost I have those for my tummy comparison, and that bikini top for my chest and back comparison. I feel like this is a much more satisfying way to measure my success than a stupid number on the scale. Dumb piece of junk…Anyway, hope you have a fantastic weekend and go see Star Wars before someone ruins it for you!

Better late than dead

I had absolutely nothing to worry about! Having had a nervous stomach all day, I finally made it to my appointment with the trainer and she was exactly what I needed. We talked the whole time about the crazy health issues we’ve both suffered with our whole lives and how general practitioners had completely let us down, and how things were finally starting to look up once we had found a naturopath. We talked about nerdy things, I showed her pictures of my Geek Chic wedding (and she cried over the cuteness), and she promised she would never let me set foot on a treadmill because she hates them and fully supports women wanting to lift. It was a good day. There was a sad side to the meeting, though. According to her device, I am 39% body fat when 22% is considered the healthy range. So I have a journey ahead of me.

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Now, I had my actual training with her yesterday, and I’m pretty sure I died in the training room for a few seconds there. Today I am the most achey I have been in years and I didn’t know “squats” could be written on a coroner report for probably cause of death, but it’s definitely looking like a possibility at this point in time. As I’ve said before, I’ve apparently never actually done a real squat before, because my heels lift off the ground when I do. Well, that didn’t stop my trainer! She placed a large ball behind my back, handed me a 20lb kettle bell, and instructed me to squat past lateral (almost touching the ground (or so it felt)) a total of 45 times. Thankfully this was not in a row, but through 3 circuits of 4 exercises. It worked for my form, but all day I have been avoiding engaging any muscles in that area.

Have you ever been breathing but not feel like you are? Because that’s where I was at. All the blood in my body relocated to my head and oxygen got really confused as to what to do once it had been inhaled. So basically, what I learned was fantastic, but I think once I start doing it myself, I’m going to take it a little slower. By no means will I take it easy, but  since I won’t be trying to please anyone, I won’t be pushing myself to the point I’m deciding whether to throw up or faint first. Also, I will be remembering to bring a water bottle next time.

Or will be now.

So that’s it. I’m still here, but feels like barely.

Also, this never posted and I just realized it…fail. Have a great weekend!

True Lies

So here’s the thing. I’m actually down a pant size, comfortably in 12s now. We started working out on schedule too and I woke up every time I engaged my stomach muscles last night while flipping all over the bed like one does while unconscious. Unfortunately, most days now when I see myself in a mirror or God forbid someone photographs me, I feel like that fat raccoon you see on funny picture collections. You know, this one:

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It’s bad. I mean, obviously something is happening for the good! My clothes are fitting better, my Basal Body temp is almost to the normal range (meaning my thyroid is finally kicking into gear), but here I am feeling like the biggest lump to have lumped. What’s up with that?!

So, I’m just upping my water intake again (meaning, I’m making more of an effort to keep a bottle with me. Ps, brb, gotta grab that…), keeping off the scale, and getting in with a personal trainer tomorrow. And by the way, I am terrified of seeing her. I know my body, I know what my body can handle, and I also know that I am a people pleaser to the point that it could probably kill me.

Thankfully it’s only one free session, so hopefully I can explain that under doctor’s orders (um, kinda), I’m supposed to stick to low impact shit without sounding like a lazy ass. There’s a difference between ‘lazy’ and ‘has been sick so many years it has lead to a cautionary state’, but unless you’ve lived it, it’s really hard to see the difference. Like the video of the surgeon I shared last week. He was bitter and hateful and blamed his patient for the state she was in until he started suffering with unknown weight gain. It was only then, and after he learned why it was happening, did he have sympathy for those in that situation.

Anyway, we’ll see. I’m hoping it’s just an evaluation with her asking what I would like to do. I would really rather not be doing the combat ropes and running on the treadmill. I’ve seen a trainer once when I was younger, and they basically just wanted to run me to death. No wonder I have an aversion to seeing her tomorrow. Ugh. I’ll let you know  how it goes. Until then, make good choices for yourself!