Only in a Perfect World

Wellll… I’ve lost all but about a pound of what I gained over the weekend so far. It is beyond frustrating that I can’t even enjoy one day off without paying for it. Maybe once I get to my goal weight my body will be healed inside, since I’m taking the long, healthy journey to get there. It is possible, I just need to stick with it, and stop getting angry when I don’t drop 100lbs in two weeks. But what a world what would that be? Eat an apple, lose 5lbs. Then again, health food would be even more expensive, so I suppose we have a good deal going. I just need to calm down and take the victories as they come.

I did make those zucchini fritters yesterday and I really like them. They are almost an alternative to hash browns for me, so I’m taking what I can get here. I made a bunch of them (small ones), so I’ll be having that with a fried egg and a slice of roasted egg plant I made yesterday. I spent a couple hours prepping, marinating, and roasting some egg plant slices for dinner then had a burger instead. I will be honest, it was not satisfying, though that could be due to the fact that I am really not a fan of Five Guys burgers, their messy, pathetic lettuce wrap buns, or the fact that they taste even worse without cheese. So I should have just stuck to my veggies, but when the husband is going out for a burger, it feels wrong to let him go alone.

Now, I found this a couple days ago and have found one friend willing to do it with me, so now I’m extending the challenge to you too. Squats. I know, I know, the word makes me feel both revolted and angry at the same time, but studies show it’s an amazing work out that can really give you a nice booty. And while it’s physically impossible for me to look like Nicki Manaj, a girl can dream, right? So here it is, from Diary of a Fit Mommy, a one month squats challenge- http://fitmommydiaries.blogspot.com/2014/08/squatitout.html. Here’s what I have decided looking at this. I do not have to do all of them in one sitting (or squatting I guess). If need be, and I probably will need to, I will space them through the day, just as long as they get done. Usually squats make my knees feel like they’re going to pop off my legs (so somewhat painful), but if that starts happening this time, I have a personal trainer friend who I can talk to and ask about tips on making it right, and pass that all on to you too!

A post on Tumblr. She said “…Took me about a month to get this butt! Squats are where it’s at! …
Do squats!”

So there you have it. One month with the possibility of toned legs and a bubble butt right in time for pools to open. I think so. But for now I am headed to reheat my zucchini fritters and fry up an egg. Have a wonderful day!

Paying for my Choices

Good morning! I hope your weekend was filled with better choices than mine was… Sometimes it’s stupid living in this body. Over the course of one day, just one day, I gained 5 pounds as of last night, 3 as of this morning. What did I do wrong? Well for starters I didn’t follow the plan over the weekend, and most importantly I didn’t drink water nearly at all. I will say that having an off day or weekend can help you get re-motivated when you’re on a long term eating plan, but when you’re at the end of the cheat day(s), you can’t help but wonder if it was worth it. Was the gluten free pizza delicious? Yes. Did it make the lymph nodes under my arm and on the inside of my thigh swell like a mofo? Absolutely and it’s kind of painful. So today is going back to mainly veggies with a couple eggs thrown in because my B-12 got scary low during the 10 days.

I have also added a B complex vitamin to my daily cocktail bringing it to my thyroid supplement in the morning, followed by D, B complex, birth control, and biotin in the afternoon, with ashwagandha, magnesium, and progesterone supplement at night with skinny fiber and burn pills before meals. I feel like I’m full of pills all the time now, but it’s the good kind. The kind that support a healthy body, not the kind that break it down to treat symptoms of deeper problems. I can definitely live with this. If you haven’t heard of ashwagandha, it’s worth learning about. I first started taking it in college when I found out it was a natural reliever of stress (I was getting bullied by a professor and was waking up sobbing on days I had to go to his class, with stress levels through the roof). When I started it, it was the crazy. I could feel the stress just melt off, as the ashwagandha helped my body relax and get rid of that nastiness. But now, it helps both my thyroid as well as my adrenals, which are two of the biggest things I have issues with.

Going back to a veggie diet, I really needed to find new recipes because I was getting pretty tired of zoodles every day, prepared the same few ways, so this morning I will be trying out Zucchini Fritters from Damn Delicious (http://damndelicious.net/2014/04/02/zucchini-fritters/?crlt.pid=camp.XnG3wvLmwmoT), as well as no bake chocolate peanut butter quinoa cookies from Quinoa and Coffee (http://www.coffeeandquinoa.com/2013/10/no-bake-chocolate-peanut-butter-quinoa-cookies/). I do still have to tweak these, though, by replacing the flour in the fritters with quinoa and leaving the cheese out, and instead of coconut oil and maple syrup for the cookies, I’ll be using palm oil and this recipe for the maple syrup: http://dessertswithbenefits.com/healthy-homemade-maple-syrup/  It’s natural, low carb, and not too bad. My husband makes it for his keto pancakes, and likes it.

Zucchini Fritters by Damn Delicious

On top of going back to many, many veggies, I wasn’t able to hit the library over the weekend, so I will be going today (worst case by Wednesday) but definitely getting my walk on. I have to shed these stupid weekend pounds and then about 70-90 more. So, you know, there’s a bit of a time commitment needed here. So between the walking and added B complex, I’m hoping this fatigue that has been plaguing me for about a week now will disappear fast. I really can’t live like this, and the dark circles on my eyes… sigh. It’s not pretty. But I’m fixing the root and that’s what matters. Remember, if you made some bad choices over the weekend too, it’s not too late to turn it around. It’s never too late.

Much Ambition, No Motivation

Oh man… yesterday was something. I haven’t lost anything, and I was emotional all day. I mean pissy, crying over everything and just unhappy. I have no idea what made it happen, but I’m sure I was just a peach to anyone who came in contact with me. And guys, I’m tired. I have no motivation to do anything at all, but watch TV. I didn’t even feel like getting off the couch to go to my computer last night, and while that sounds lazy, it’s scary. I’m never like this. I was the girl who would be out and about until 5am because I hated the thought that I would miss anything in life. Now, it’s a struggle to leave the house lately. I didn’t even want to go to trivia this week, which is completely not me…

So today I am starting a B complex vitamin along with everything else. You see, both anemia (low iron) and lack of B run in my family, and you can get anemia due to lack of B (isn’t that fun?). And anaemia and anaemia caused by a lack of vitamin B12 can result in symptoms which include:

• Extreme tiredness or fatigue.
• A lack of energy or lethargy.
• Being out of breath.
• Feeling faint.
• Headache.
• Ringing in the ears (tinnitus)
• Lack of appetite.

(More at http://www.webmd.boots.com/healthy-eating/guide/vitamin-b12-deficiency)

This week I have had everything here but the out of breath, so it looks like it’s really time to get going on that. That and force myself to get my butt in gear. I did a little kettlebell this morning, but today I’m headed to finally get my library card, and will be checking out all the awesome workout DVDs they have there. When I was browsing the catalog I noticed they even had a hula hoop fitness DVD in stock, which I’ve been looking at buying, but just haven’t had the money. What better way to try it than for free, though, am I right?! (I’m excited about this) I love the library

Hopefully my report Monday will be much much better than today was. Stay true to your healthy plans this weekend and keep being awesome! I will see you all again on Monday. Have a lovely weekend.

Time to Start the Muscles

This morning I was down to 226.4 meaning a .2lb loss overnight. This means one of two things… One, I did something different yesterday that i don’t know that made the difference between losing what I did and losing more, or the second option is my body is taking a break trying to figure out why it’s losing so fast. My thought is the second. According to a Mayo Clinic post:

During the first few weeks of losing weight, a rapid drop is normal. In part, this is because when you cut calories, the body gets needed energy initially by releasing its stores of glycogen, a type of carbohydrate found in the muscles and liver. Glycogen is partly made of water, so when glycogen is burned for energy, it releases water, resulting in weight loss that’s mostly water. This effect is temporary, however.

As you lose weight, you lose some muscle along with fat. Muscle helps keep the rate at which you burn calories (metabolism) up. So as you lose weight, your metabolism declines, causing you to burn fewer calories than you did at your heavier weight.

Your slower metabolism will slow your weight loss, even if you eat the same number of calories that helped you lose weight. When the calories you burn equal the calories you eat, you reach a plateau.

To lose more weight, you need to either increase your physical activity or decrease the calories you eat. Using the same approach that worked initially may maintain your weight loss, but it won’t lead to more weight loss.

More at: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/weight-loss/in-depth/weight-loss-plateau/art-20044615

Honestly, it could just be a fluke and I’ll drop more tomorrow, but looking at this just reaffirms that I need to add strength training everyday. And that’s okay with me! I don’t just want to lose weight, I want to look fit. I want to be fit. Plus, I really like kettlebells. I was never one for the hand weights so when it came to strength training I was not impressed. Then I found out about the kettlebell and I’ve never gone back. It’s easy to do, kind of hard to mess up (unless you’re just being silly and with workout equipment, which is never a good idea), and is usually a full body workout. Here’s a quick beginner video from youtube on it!

So that’s what I’m up to. That and I’m going to try adding eggs and quinoa today. I officially start the 30 day tomorrow, so I’m checking out what a staple food of quinoa does to my body on my given day off. Then to the kettlebells! Short post, but I’m famished and the oven is on. Have an absolutely wonderful day. Bye!

I Have the Rumblies in My Tumbly

Late post today, but I’m still here! I was starving last night. Not yesterday, no, I was fine all day long, and really not even that hungry…Until 7:30 hit. I refuse to eat after 7, as you know, due to hormone fluctuations that lead to weight gain, so of course that’s when my body decided it would eat anything and everything if I wanted to give in. But I didn’t. I just got a glass of water and played some video games to get my mind off it. And you know what? This morning I was down to 226.6 making it almost 12 pounds down from the start last Monday! (But do not worry, I am not starving myself, and would never encourage that behavior. I am retraining my body to eat at the right times with the right foods. Healthy.)

As you can tell, I am very excited. Now it’s a race to beat my husband in pounds. Unfortunately I do weigh more than him at the moment, and that’s extremely embarrassing to me. He, of course, loves me just the way I am, which would make it easy to just throw my arms up and grab a donut with him at 2 am (because we live right down the street from some of the best donuts I’ve ever had. Ever.). But it’s not about him. It’s about me wanting to get healthy and be able to wear the clothes I want to wear in the sizes that make me feel like I could conquer the world. To me, nothing makes me feel more amazing than putting on a great outfit with some killer heels, but at the moment, I just don’t like how it hangs on me. So, while I do love my body, I am doing this for me.

And because you know what I did when I got my wedding photos back? I cried. I feel like every accidental fat face was captured in all it ridiculousness because I was caught at a bad angle (don’t get me wrong, I loved my photographer and she got some great shots, but I have an extremely hard time looking at photos of myself, and having bad ones on your big day is the worst feeling). That’s why I’m striving to have honeymoon pictures that make me feel proud of myself and my accomplishments. Something I’m happy to show everyone forever.

Not much else is new. I had a crazy lazy day yesterday. Pretty sure the couch now has a permanent impression of me in it, but it was just one of those days where nothing sounded better than curling up on the couch and binging Netflix. So I actually have to clean today, and open the house up because it’s nice outside! I hope you get a chance to enjoy the weather in your area as well. Have a wonderful day!

There is No One Diet for Everyone

Being on day 9 of the ten day cleanse, I am so much more excited about the 30 days now. I heard from my doctor and she finally explained that the initial 10 day is vegan (figured that one out), but the next 30 I get to add meat and quinoa to it! I think I’ll still have vegan days because I really do like them, I just get tired of the lack of variety, especially since potatoes (including sweet potatoes) are a no-no until you hit your goal weight. If that hadn’t been the case, I found a recipe for spinach and sweet potato vegan gnocchi that I wanted to try so bad. But it’s all good. I’m another half pound down at 228 on the dot, leaving me 8 pounds up from where I was at my wedding still… Married life, man.

NO! NOT IN THIS HOUSE. We’re better than that.

So I have 222 days until our 1 year anniversary when we will be taking our honeymoon (we’ve been trying to get out of debt first), and I’m currently losing about a half pound a day without much exercise, really. So if this keeps up (with more activity because muscle keeps fat at bay), I can be at my goal weight range of 135-165lbs by that time if I stick with this. That is so exciting! I have never in my life been able to maintain a healthy weight loss and it made me feel like such a failure for so many years. I have spent more hours than I’d like to admit crying over the state of my body and the seemingly impossible journey of getting rid of the weight. And I’ve tried everything. Weight watchers with their frozen meals lost about 15 pounds, then gained back about 25 (didn’t know I had an intolerance to complex carbs and all their frozen meals have pasta or potatoes), I went vegan with no time to cook for myself and ended up eating some kind of pasta or bread every day, leading to a large weight gain. Then I tried just doing lean meats grilling batches of chicken to have for lunch every day and sobbing when the scale only went up, not knowing that I’m so allergic to chicken it makes water pool around my heart and causes the most painful inflammation I’ve ever felt. I didn’t know these things because my body had built up a tolerance to them. I had no idea what was causing the nausea and stomach aches I would get every day, the acid reflux I had had since I was about 10, or the never ending boils that covered the inside of my thighs, scarring them to the point of disgust and embarrassment. But it was the wrong foods.

This is why I am such an advocate of finding what works for you. You may not realize the tolerances you’ve built over the years and think you’re eating right yet wondering how in the world you can not get healthy when you’re trying to hard. As I have mentioned before, what showed me was a combination of a juice cleanse with Eat Right for Your Blood Type (and you don’t even have to get the book if you just don’t have time. There’s an app that easily lists out what to have, what’s just ok, and what you need to avoid). But again, not one thing will work for everyone, but those combined started me on my way to listening to my body and what it needed. I hope you take the time to do the same.

But I’m here now, it’s working well, and I actually slept last night. I went to the store, got some magnesium and took it about an hour before bed, and was asleep within 10 minutes. I’m excited that it worked, as well as excited to see if it helps with anything else, and since drinking the kombucha on a regular basis, I’ve noticed my stomach behaving so much better than ever before. I’m talking eating something I know I shouldn’t (because it’s life and I’m going to slip up now and then) and being ok. It’s been amazing. I’m really thankful to live in a time where we have so many healthy options to find what fits us the best! It’s awesome. And I pray you find what you need in your journey as well. We can find it together! But for now, have a wonderful day.

Time for Added Magnesium? Probably.

I’ve been having a really hard time getting to sleep the past few days. I’m talking wide awake until 3-4am hard time. Apparently some people experience insomnia when they’re in the weight loss process, which I believe has something to do with your body thinking it’s dying and trying to give you more energy to find food. Well body, you are not dying. Quite the opposite. I’m helping you lose weight so that you won’t die from a variety of diseases that plague other bodies who carry a little extra fat in the wrong places. But, even with the trouble sleeping, I’m down ten pounds now! Yup, 228.4 to be exact. I didn’t drink nearly enough water yesterday so the loss slowed a bit, but overall I’m making great progress.

While this Clean, Burn, Shape system is working extraordinarily well for me, I’m extremely torn about starting the next 30 day process. I definitely will, and it’s in the mail now, but maybe it’s because I live with a Keto-er,  but I am getting so sick of vegetables. Don’t get me wrong, I make a mean dish, but I live for sushi. I miss my fish and rice, and yes I know I get a couple free days during the 30, but not nearly enough to stop my growing aversion. I even tried making my own riceless, vegan sushi last night and it was a mess. Either our knives aren’t sharp enough, or I didn’t prep the veggies right and the nori got wet which made it impossible to cut. Or both. But guys… it was bad. I mean, it tasted fine, but it was a mess. So I used the left over vegan unagi sauce (which really just tasted like a sweeter teriyaki to me. Unagi is a different sweet) and mixed in some zoodles, red cabbage, and a couple chunks of mushroom (really trying to get over my aversion to the edible fungus), and after heating up will add cucumber and broccoli sprouts for a veggie asian bowl. If you’d like to try your hand at the sauce, it’s delicious and found here: http://thursdayswithwanda.com/2011/07/22/vegan-food-sucks-eel/

I would love to, believe me

I think my biggest problem is the fact that I don’t know how the 10 day (which is supposed to be the strictest) and the 30 day are different. Hopefully the package that’s coming will explain (but it’s doubtful), though my doctor told me that apparently I can have quinoa on the 30 day, so maybe that will help. I’m really tired of feeling hungry ALL THE TIME. I’ll be honest though, the cravings I’m having for other food feel like they’re all in my head. My body isn’t really needing anything that it feels like, my brain is just fighting me making me dream of donuts and burgers that I still feel horribly guilty about eating in my dreams. While they sound good, I’m honestly satisfied. Yes, I would adore a burger, but the food I’m making is not bad, and usually hits the spot for me just fine.

Also, still a bit frustrated with the program, wanting sushi like nobody’s business, yet ten pounds down and counting. I think I’m going to spend today looking up new recipes so I can keep experimenting. But if you’ve been reading along with this (note today begins day 8 of my 10 day cleanse), I want to note that the kit itself is not the only expensive part of this diet. The groceries are going to replace any funds you had for eating out, and then maybe some more on top of that. I started with about $100 of fruits and veggies just for myself, and was out in 5 days. Some days I even replaced a lunch with just the shake too. It’s not a cheap diet, but it seems to be working very well, so keep that in mind if you’re looking to try this as well. We’re eagerly awaiting the opening of the farmers market here to cut way down on the costs of my diet, at least.

So to help with my insomnia, and the weird fact (this may be TMI) that I pooped about 6 times a day for the first 3 days, and barely have since, though I have tons of veggie fiber going through me every day, I am probably going to add magnesium to my nightly routine. It has so many benefits, including aiding weight loss, helping Vit D absorption, and as an added bonus, usually makes you poop. A lot. If you’d like more on it, there’s a great source here: http://wellnessmama.com/3610/magnesium-deficiency/    Hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and enjoy your day!

I’m My Own Worst Enemy

Yesterday was horrible in the nausea department. I was fine during the morning, but then completely lost my appetite by noon. Then I was trying to expel the contents of my stomach, but it is nearly impossible for me to throw up. No joke, the only time I can do it is when I have severe food poisoning or equally as severe stomach flu. If they’re only mild I get nauseous as a mofo and I’m pretty sure that’s more miserable than actually just tossing my cookies. But thankfully I had a kombucha soda in the fridge, though it took me a minute to decide whether or not it would work ok with the Clean, Burn, Shape system (while not throwing me off this detox). I finally decided it should be ok, and was happily reassured by the inside of the cap as well.

So that was not fun, but the kombucha helped, I just had to be gentle the rest of the day, though hubby’s driving in a wet parking lot is anything but gentle. I’m always thinking he’s going to try to pull a donut with how he whips that thing around, but I needed groceries and my car is in St Louis still. Sigh. No worries, I’m getting it back tonight! But that’s just a side note. I know what you want to hear about. You want to hear about the weight loss. Well, I’m happy to announce it’s another half pound down at 230.6 as of this morning, and a total so far of an inch and a half off my chest/back, 3 inches off my waist, and two inches off my hips coming to Chest: 45.5″ (was 47″), Waist: 38.5″ (was 41.5″), and Hips: 47″ (was 49″).It’s so exciting to actually see physical results because all my life it has been IMPOSSIBLE for me to lose anything, and I really mean anything. I would usually lose a few then gain that plus some back the next month, thus putting me where I am today. But no more.

Also, my brain is trying to bring me down. I keep hearing it say “yeah, you’re down again. But this is about the time you plateau, and you don’t stop plateauing. You’re going to be in the 220 range forever and there’s nothing that will stop that.” That’s what I live with every day. That stupid nagging voice that I’m going to fail at this like I’ve failed at so many eating plans, but I am so determined to make this work. This time is different, because this time I have the knowledge that I never had before. This time I know what sets the inflammation off, I know what I’m allergic to, and I know the hormone flux rules. This time I have medicine for my thyroid, and this time I’m supplementing my D vitamin. So no, stupid voice, this time I’m going to make it, and if that means picking up running if I hit a plateau, then (slight groan), that’s what I’ll do. So now I have to start talking to myself to change that thinking process. As I posted before, science is showing that things you say influence your brain and body, so instead of focusing on the negative of past failures, I’m going to speak with faith that this is going to be different.

That’s me today. Fighting myself, and needing to make more zucchini noodles. Not the worst, I suppose, so I’ll live. Just time to be strong for myself, and do what I do best…Overcome negativity! Off to get some food now. Have a wonderful day!

Taking Care of My Body, Cause That’s Where I Live

Welcome to day 4 of my Clean, Burn, Shape ten day cleanse! This morning I weighed in at 231lbs, meaning that’s 7lbs in 4 days so far, and if today is anything like yesterday, I will be dropping continuously throughout the day. And I measured, and am 1.5in down as well, so far, so I will be taking a comparison picture tonight. I will say, I am definitely in detox. We tried to go to trivia last night, and I had the most severe brain fog that we left halfway through. Trivia is not fun whatsoever when you know you know every answer, but are fighting to just remember simple things. It was embarrassingly bad.

That being said, today I’m still detoxing with slight nausea, mild blurry vision, energy crashes, and moodiness. plus I started after being a month late (thanks so much PCOS. You really know how to treat a lady), so basically I’m just lovely. But it’s all good. This is part of the getting better portion, so I can deal, and I’m trying extra hard to be kind to my husband because I know this is only temporary crazy and life isn’t horrible and everything will pass soon. Plus, I’m seeing results, and I love the food. No joke. Since I’m home now (still waiting to hear back about jobs. It’s rough, but I’m staying happy), I have all day to prepare meals for myself and for times when I don’t feel like making anything. This morning I made my breakfast and lunch at the same time, and have leftovers for dinner. It’s a really nice feeling, like I have my life together.

So favorite recipe of the week is a tie between roasted garlic cabbage wedge with zucchini noodles and organic marinara (what I just had for breakfast. No joke, I could eat pasta any time of the day), zucchini pad thai, and black bean sloppy joe. They are all fantastic, and coincidentally all my meals for today in order. If you’re looking to make the pad thai sauce, I posted how I made it in the post “It’s a Mind Game Now”, and the sloppy joe recipe I got here: http://86lemons.com/sloppy-joes-with-raw-slaw/ but it’s tweaked for the diet. No slaw, no buns, no jalapeno (just because I don’t like spicy unless it’s sriracha), and sub the brown sugar for stevia. It’s amazingly delicious. Like, I have to portion it out into containers for the week or else I end up eating more when I’m not even hungry, just because I like it so much.

Om nom nom

So there you have it. Day 4, delicious food, 7lbs and an inch and a half down, AND I did some kettle bell swings while I watched TV yesterday. I think I’m doing alright, but I’m reserving judgement for when I pass 228. That’s usually when I plateau and get discouraged, but NOT THIS TIME. Keep on keeping on my friends! And enjoy the day today.

Today I am a Hungry Zombie

So tired today. I went to bed with a headache and woke up feeling exhausted and sluggish, which can only mean one thing…DETOX TIME *dramatic music playing*. Yep, I am in detox and when my car broke down in St Louis (I don’t know if I mentioned it, but my car broke down in St Louis last week, so I am without a car until this weekend…*cries*), I left BOTH bottles of charcoal at my parents’ house. So it looks like I’m riding this one out unless we can find a bottle at a local shop tonight. But one thing is for sure, I see a nap in my future.

I feel ya, buddy

But! I was at 232.8 this morning, making it almost another pound down. It probably would have been more, but i was so famished at 9:30 that I grabbed something to eat. I shouldn’t have. I should have just drank more water and gone to bed like I know needs to happen, because no matter what you eat at night, it doesn’t matter. When the hormones are changing due to nighttime, everything makes you put on pounds. Sad. It’s a sad, sad fact of life. I’ll try to be better tonight.

Yesterday, I did manage to make the chocolate grass powder taste better, though! I put it in the blender with almond milk, ice, peanut butter, and cinnamon. It made like twice as much as I meant it to, but it was still worth every sip. Today i’m trying it with less almond milk, and some coffee. I wasn’t sure if coffee was ok on this thing or not, but I somehow managed to find a recipe on their site. Here’s the one problem I have with this system. It’s so f**king vague. I am confused more times than not if I’m doing this right. I get how to use their system, that’s easy, but for the foods I’m eating. No where did I see that salt was a no-no in anything I got from them, yet when I was looking for recipes someone had commented that during the 10 day, leave the salt out. Maybe it was just a preference of theirs, but I have no idea. The website offers no help, and it pretty terrible aside from explaining what the challenge is that goes with the product. I know I can win a trip to Tahiti, but I don’t know if black coffee and tea are acceptable. I’m assuming they are, because there’s really nothing in their base forms that would counteract anything on this cleanse. In fact, it would probably aide it. Probably. I don’t know because they’re vague.

I think this is my problem

That rant aside, I’m honestly enjoying this. We spent a lot more on food than I was anticipating, so I’m a little nervous to run out before it’s over since I really don’t want to spend a lot more. Thankfully, the majority of the expensive things were one shot items that are going to last me a year that I needed anyway. But it’s time to go eat my breakfast with clean drink, and then probably take a nap. Or binge watch something in a half asleep state. Both work. Have a wonderful day, and keep strong!